dress for who?

i'm really bad when it comes to fashion. i've spent two years wearing the exact tudung hitam every night to prep. sometimes i would wear white but black is my favourite. black matches with every baju kottt. but when i left school, people start to ask a lot of questions.

eh, you're wearing red baju kurung why you wear it with black scarf?

eh, why you always wear this black tudung?

eh, i give you so many tudungs why you still wear this one?! *this is Umi*

despite all those comments i still wear black (i'm that degil hewhew). well, sometimes i wear green or blue (very rare) or cream *all from Umi's collection*. i don't even have tudung bunga-bunga WHY SHOULD ONE HAVE TUDUNG BUNGA-BUNGA IF ALL THE BAJU ARE ALREADY BUNGA-BUNGA?! tak faham -.-'

when i came to India, i have more favourite colours besides black. Umi gave me a lot of tudung before i left Malaysia heh she wants to make sure i stop wearing black and become more cheerful haha. now people stop asking me awkward questions and i was happy with my life.

until the last few months i started to think about a lot of things. all my tudungs are of 'bawal' type ; very see-through and small (hence the boobs flashing). i started to become very uncomfortable wearing these tudungs so i decided to wear shawls instead. no, not the see-through one but the thick and heavy one. i don't look good in shawls and i'm always messy -.-' but i wear them anyway for the sake of covering up my neck and chest *still struggling*

the problem is, shawls are very cheaaap and India has so many interesting patterns i have to have them all! so i have a lot of shawl bunga-bunga (and a lot of bright coloured shawls) this time and i'm still clueless when it comes to mix and match hence the awkward questions......

eh, why you wear green with brown?

eh, you can't wear baju bunga-bunga with tudung bunga-bunga!

eh, meriahnya you hari ni...

-.-'

i thought the 'covering up' is the aim, not the fashion itself. and 'covering up' is not JUST pakai tudung. what's the use of tudung if people can still see the things that shouldn't be seen by the non-muhrims? *slapping my own face NOW ONLY YOU REALIZE?!* wear a proper tudung that can cover your hair (well that's the aim of tudung anyway), your neck, ears and chest. a proper tudung must me matched with a proper baju right? proper as in, it is loose, long (tutup bon*** maluuu) and match it with loose pants or skirts. heh, senang cerita pakai je baju kurung. bila pakaian atas dah cukup decent, what about covering up your kaki too? wear cute socks! :D

easy to say, i know. but TRY, for the sake of Allah. everyday i have to struggle to maintain to dress for Allah, the last thing that i care is does my shawl match with my baju kurung? as long as i dress decent enough, don't ask me awkward questions.

but please, you can say whatever you want if i dress not decent enough for Allah to see. i need the reminder :(

it hurts, you know.

p/s : jaga pakaian, and jaga a lot of other things too. now i understand why people said "jihad melawan nafsu" is the biggest jihad. nafsu -.-'