19

Ramadhan is comingg and I'm excited! I'm not sure why I'm so excited haha. Professional exam on 23rd, which is 4 days away? Cuak tak payah cakap la kan, kata ada amanah :S


Exam kali ni pelik sikit, format berubah-ubah. Last time was a disaster, we only knew the MCQ format like one hour before exam started. Tetiba ada negative marking kan, so I left about 20+ questions simply because I don't want to take the risk. Rupa-rupanya ada 0.5 markah untuk 'attempt' untuk jawab semua soalan. Tak tahu nak rasa seronok atau 'eh peliknya macam tu pun ada?' haha okay let's make that as an advantage.

Before this OSPE (not sure what it stands for tapi basically it's soalan praktikal) is 40% of the total mark so basically if you want to pass just read record or log book thoroughly and score. Tapi tetiba OSPE jadi 20% and MCQ jadi 20%?! I don't mind about OSPE but now MCQ very tough I tell you, last time the questions are 300 we have to answer true/false, sounds easy but it's not. Dah la ada negative marking T_T


Bila baca buku jadi paranoid sikit, EH NI BOLE KELUAR MCQ TAK terus baca dua kali. Wuuuu.


Anyway, enough about exam. As long as you read well, doa well, tawakkaltualallah makanya insyaallah tak ada masalah (telling myself this hundreds of time) :)


Cakap pasal ramadhan, I don't know how to describe the feeling. Rasa macam first time sambut ramadhan. Walhal masuk kali ni dah 13 kali (kira daripada umur 7 tahun k) puasa, macam tak biasa?


Lain. Tahun ni perasaan nak masuk bulan rahmat Allah ni lain sangat, tapi tak tahu macam mana nak describe. Walaupun exam pada hari kedua puasa, insyaallah I'll be fine. Rasulullah asal perang je bulan puasa tak ada masalah pun. I baru 'berjihad atas kertas', apa la sangat nak dibandingkan dengan baginda dan para sahabat *insaf*.


Baiklah, doakan kami di perantauan ni *tetiba*. Assalamualaikum.

Bismillah :)
source : Facebook

Headache

4 days. My shoulder feels heavy. Ada amanah *cuak*. Bye assalamualaikum. 

#WS 6

Pernah dengar cerita sahabat nabi Ka'ab Ibnu Malik? Sedih T_T Eh the last time I updated WS was like two months ago, been very busy hewhew I'm sorry. Last usrah kitorang cerita pasal Ka'ab Ibnu Malik, macam tak familiar kot sbb it was my first time hearing his name too. But his story really touched my heart, kalau nak baca the original text silakan. Here I'm gonna be very brief :)




Ka'ab Ibnu Malik bukan calang-calang orang, dia selalu sertai Nabi berperang. Tapi masa perang Tabuk, Allah uji dia dgn nikmat perniagaan yang tetiba maju. Dia jadi ragu-ragu nak pergi ke tak, zaman dulu-dulu Allah wajibkan pemuda-pemuda Muslim sertai perang kecuali beberapa keadaan yang Allah izinkan. Dia bertangguh-tangguh, dia tunggu sampai unta-unta dah nak bergerak tapi dia masih ragu-ragu. Sampai la unta-unta bergerak nak pergi berjihad di jalan Allah, dia masih ragu-ragu dan malas nak kejar walhal kalau kejar insyaallah sempat.




Dia tahu apa yg dia buat tu tak betul, dia takut Nabi akan marah. Sepanjang perang Tabuk berlangsung, Ka'ab Ibnu Malik resah gelisah. Dia rasa macam keseorangan, pemuda-pemuda yang tinggal cuma orang-orang tua dan Muslim yang diragui keislamannya. Sedihnya kalau orag pandang kita sebagai "diragui keislamannya" :( Mungkin itu apa yang Ka'ab Ibnu Malik rasa.




Bila Nabi pulang daripada perang, orang-orang yang tak ikut serta perang seramai 80 orang datang jumpa baginda dan bagi alasan kenapa tak ikut, Nabi tahu je ada yang bagi alasan tak benar sebab nak selamatkan diri tapi baginda tetap mendoakan keampunan mereka dan serahkan segala-galanya kepada Allah sebab Allah tahu apa dalam hati mereka (dan kita). Bila sampai turn Ka'ab Ibnu Malik, dia decided tak nak tipu Nabi sebab dia tak sampai hati.




Nabi marah, tapi baginda cuma tersenyum. Tapi Nabi tak bagi keputusan segera sama ada Allah ampunkan Ka'ab Ibnu Malik atau tak tapi baginda cuma arahkan sahabat-sahabat tak cakap dengan Ka'ab Ibnu Malik sampai la Allah bagi keputusan (seronok kan zaman dulu-dulu masa Nabi ada lagi, apa-apa semua rujuk baginda).




Dipendekkan cerita, selama 40 hari Ka'ab (dan ada 2 lagi sahabat, Hilal dan Murarah) dipulaukan, tak ada orang bercakap dengan dia dan yang paling sedih salam untuk Nabi pun tak terjawab :( Tapi Ka'ab tabah, dia tahu dia salah dia rasa menyesal tapi dia tetap teruskan aktiviti seharian dia macam biasa - pergi surau pasar etc walaupun tak ada orang yg layan dia. Sampai la hari ke-50 Allah turunkan wahyu bahawa taubat dia diterima.




*refer the given link untuk tahu details*




‎"Sesungguhnya Allah Maha Pengasih, Maha Penyayang kepada mereka dan terhadap tiga orang yg ditinggalkan hingga ketika bumi terasa sempit bg mereka padahal bumi itu luas dan jiwa mereka pun telah (pula terasa) sempit bg mereka serta mereka telah mengetahui bahawa tidak ada tempat lari dari (seksaan) Allah, melainkan kpd-Nya saja kemudian Allah menerima taubat mereka agar mereka tetap dalam taubatnya. Sesungguhnya Allah Maha Penerima taubat, Maha Penyayang" (9:118)






Gembiranya Ka'ab Ibnu Malik, Allah je yang tahu. Sampai dia nak sedekahkan semua pakaian dia :)




So how would you conclude this story? Agaknya apa jadi kalau perkara yang sama berlaku kepada kita, agaknya kita berputus asa tak dengan keampunan Allah? 




T_T




Allah cakap jangan sesekali berputus asa dengan keampunan Allah sebab Allah tahu apa dalam hati kita dan Allah maha pengampun. Allah cakap;




"...wahai hamba-hambaKu yang melampaui batas terhadap diri mereka sendiri! Janganlah kamu berputus asa dengan rahmat Allah. Sesungguhnya Allah mengampuni dosa-dosa..." (39:53) 






Assalamualaikum :)

Blind

We went to do some charity work in Rakum School where half of the kids 

are visually impaired or disabled. 

More to come, insyaallah :)

This made me cry T_T

Assalamualaikum.

#3

Today was a bad tudung day. I woke up late but I managed to catch the bus but my tudung was very bad, I tried to fix it but, well, I was 5 minutes late for class and cikgu already started the lecture. 5 minit je kot, rileks la. Tetiba "Who's 3? Meet me when you're free", yeah that's me. I thought eh sebab lambat ke eh eh *cuak*.




Okaaaay rupa-rupanya he wanted to see me because he said "I want to boost up your morale" (dalam hati eh morale tu apa haha boleh?), it's something to do with last progress test's result. He said "I've been observing you from the first day of school..." really? "...what's your name again?" hahaha -.-'




He gave me few tips regarding the next exams and told me to study hard and do well in exam. Dia cakap for practical baca betul-betul semua dah ada tinggal nak baca je and read all the four subjects simultaneously and relate everything in one disease. I barely said anything throughout the meeting, dengar angguk senyum angguk lagi, since I was too busy trying to keep my feet on the ground, semua rezeki Allah I don't want to be too proud of myself.




Truth is, I didn't expect this much. I just want to study and take the exam, do well and score well. If it were a year back I would have been so proud of myself and tell everyone about how much I got, tenggelam dalam pujian and boast to Iz*** haha. Nah, I was childish. Now start studyinggg and do well. Allah, don't let the beauty of dunya blinds me. Nama pun "insan" takut la kalau lupa mana datang semua rezeki.




Let's rock the next semester exam, yeah. Bismillah ;)




Kbye assalamualaikum.




p/s : Lepas tu terus lupa tudung buruk haha.

Kerala

Okay I know I've promised you guys to cerita about my trip to Kerala okay okaaay. It was two weeks ago and now I don't know if I can remember anything about the trip haha. It was a sudden "eh jom pergi Kerala esok" seriously, I didn't plan to go anywhere out of Bangalore I just want to enjoy a week holiday at home belajar masak ke, kemas rumah ke, but everyone insisted me to go (hamboiii) so I decided to go. It's not like we have to book early flight ticket or plan everything a month earlier so I thought, why not?

We take a TT (not sure what it stands for but it's like a van) and the journey took about 15 hours. 15 hours, yes. India is so big! Padahal jiran sebelah je. Thank god for Promethazine! I slept all the way to Kerala. Eh lupa cakap, there were 9 of us Intan Raihan Raiyan Nisa me Dino Amin Jef and Jojo. TT is really big and cosy,  it can fit the 9 of us perfectly :)

We reached our resort *lupa nama* 3-4 pm since our resort is in a little island we couldn't go anywhere later that 5 pm so we spent the rest of the day watching sunset and ate dinner. Never in my life I spent time sitting and waiting for the sun to set. It was lovely, satu sebab tak ramai orang and dua sebab I just have to sit and stare and do nothing huehue so it was nice. Jef said jokingly "we come all the way to Kerala and paid 10k just to watch sunset?" :p

We slept early and woke up early because we have to catch the boat. I dislike breakfast in India, tak sedap *tetiba*. We went to a bird sanctuary where we had to walk 2 km just to see a bunch of birds. It was like jungle trekking and no one prepared for such a long walk! We complained all the way during the walk but someone was so excited to watch the birds. I didn't like birds much, so ... T_T Eh tapi we were "embraced" by the nature and were actually glad we came. Bangalore is a busy state we hardly have time to "keep calm and enjoy the nature" :) 

Later we went for houseboat trip! Ini la yang ditunggu-tunggu orang cakap kalau datang Kerala tak naik houseboat memang rugi. Wuu it was worth it. Er but I have motion sickness, I had to take Paracetamol and sleep for like half an hour. Thank god I was okay after sleeping. It was a long journey, we spent 4-5 hours on the boat. We sat around chatting laughing and enjoying every bit of the nature's beauty and we stopped at a fish market to buy fish and lobster (yeay) for lunch. Every houseboat is handled by two men; a driver and a cook. But Jojo Dino and Nisa took over the kitchen and cooked haha. Seronoknya bila reminisce balik the time we spent of the houseboat! :)

Though I really like the houseboat I don't want to sleep in that thing -.- Nasib baik we paid for 4-5 hours trip je, tak sanggup nak tidur satu malam dalam tu, pening gila k. We spent the night in Lake Palace resort. Sampai letak bag semua kitorang terus naik cruise for another sunset! But this time around it was cloude and we could barely see the sunset. Maghrib we went back to resort slept early and woke up early for tomorrow's trip.

Esoknya we were ready to go back to Bangalore but on our way back home we singgah to waterfall somewhere in Cochin. Another jungle trekking experience and we were not prepared haha. The whole trip to Kerala is mainly about enjoying the nature. And nature brings me closer to Allah :) Teringat surah ar-Rahman bila tengok ya Allah indahnya semua benda yang Kau cipta "Now which of the Lord's favor would you deny?". I cried during the sunset cruise because I felt so close to Him (yeah I'm that emotional haha). 

Oh yeah, i spent only Rs 13k for the whole trip. Lebih kurang RM 800-900 mungkin? It was all worth it. K nah tengok gambar (in random order) and relate to the story :)

K masa mula-mula sampai

The 2 km walk to watch birds

During houseboat trip, cantik gilaaaa :D

Monopoly time! K Raihan menang sebab I pening *alasan*

At the water fall. Tak sanggup join diorang mandi T_T

Model sunset sangat haha

Kbai, assalamualaikum :)

14

"I want to wear what those people wear"
"Really?"
"Yes"
"On one condition, you can't complain if you hear people talk about you"
"What if they talk?"
"If they talk today, ignore them. If they talk again tomorrow, ignore them. If they talk again the day after tomorrow, ignore them. Later they would stop talking about you"


Allah gives me you.


...and good people around me :)


Bismillah.

O-kay or kay-O?

I'm so emo. I woke up early today but at the thought of piling homework i convinced myself i have to sleep some more tho i usually don't sleep after Subuh. I finally woke up at 11 all groggy and lazy. Now at 2, I'm all miserable and down i might actually cry. I thought i'm okay, but I'm not. Let's hope tomorrow I'll be okay and shove all these miserable thoughts away. I'll be okay, insyaAllah.


Tak payah emo sangat la kot -.-'


I should do something to distract this horrible feeling. I should go watch a movie. K done texting Nisa asking her whether she wants to see a movie or not. Eh what about the piling homework? I still have Sunday.


Yeah, I'm that emo.


Don't ask me why, I won't tell. Hm despite the fact that i talk a lot and usually can't keep secrets (haha) I keep a lot of things to myself. I stop telling some things to my best friends. Maybe because they are busy, aren't they tired of listening to my whining all the time? K let's not bother them.


Maybe because i told some people about some things that bother me but they don't understand how miserable it is to ME. Alas, i'm all devastated because I thought they don't care. See, some things are better kept to yourself.


What about telling Mom? That has to wait.


Every time I am this emo, I can't help but convincing myself He's here for me, I don't have to tell He'll know. Boleh tak i just don't care about what people have to say about me and just please Him because He knows? He knows me better than anyone I know and He should understand better. And He listens.


Oh Allah I'm so miserable. I'm just 20 but I'm miserable. I dream too much. I'm afraid my dreams won't come true. Now i barely understand what I'm typing. I'm just too miserable.


I'm not okay. I'm going to curl in my blanket and wait for tomorrow to come.


Or not, maybe i should finish my homework and pretend everything is okay. Okay.


K.


Assalamualaikum.

Holiday's over

Sunset in Kerala :)

Cepat gila seminggu tetiba dah Jumaat esok lusa dah nak sekolah balik :S I'll blog about Kerala as soon as i get the pictures k? Haha alahaii jangan janji je kena updateee malas macam mana pun.


Alhamdulillah for everythang. I'm so blessed. Sangat-sangattt. Cuma kadang-kadang ada la harinya i tak puas hati nak itu nak ini huehuehue kena perbaiki diri. Insyaallah ;)

Short

1. Got exam on Thursday and Friday, doakan kitaaaa T_T


2. After exam we have a week holiday yay! Not going back home or anywhere but i'll be very busy i guess because i have so much plans for the whole week *excited* eh jangan fikir lagi, exam dulu T_T


3. Umi and Abah are not in Malaysia wuwuuu now i don't have anyone to call bila stress! Macam mana niiiii T_T I miss them already (walhal memang takkan jumpa kalau diorang kat Malaysia pun). Kfine akan tabah sebab dah matang.


4. I eat a lot today. I eat a lot when i'm stressed.


5. Remember that blogger Dena Bahrin yang kena proposed by a stranger (to her) remember the sweet video? And yeah, ther are married now and she's so beautiful. And she's 20! Hope all is welllll :)


6. Allah answered my prayer today. But i've to wait some more, patiently. Baiknya Allah i never thought it would be heard haha seriously, i pray and i pray for the best tak sangkaaaa haha eh apa aku cakap ni haha. Terima kasih :)


7. Kbai nak belajar. Bismillahirrahmanirrahimmmm.