So I decided

Assalamualaikum.

I've been in clinical posting for 6 months and two weeks now. I'm glad I finished my first two years! Bosan (sikit) k, everyday we have to go to class, sit and listen for 2-3 hours, 1 hour break, eat, pray, rehat-rehat then we go to lab for practical session. Practical as in see the slides, write down names of drugs, draw bacteria.. God, I'm so hebat I can go through all that in two years haha! Ok la, during the first year we got to mingle with cadavers, potong-potong, identify this and that ok laaa tak bosan, best actually. Tapi masa zaman berhingus asyik nak ponteng kelas dissection hehe. Masa second year at least we got to see few autopsies. It was interesting but it's far too scary, I prefer cadaver, really. Freshly-dead humans are.. not so.. inviting.. well. 

Anyway, I've been posted in PD Hinduja Sindhi Hospital, about 30-40 minutes from our place (depending on the traffic). It's a small private hospital. Small as in there's only one building, empat tingkat, 3 OTs, one small xray/ultrasound room, small consultation rooms.. Nasib baik we got our own classrooms with LCD screen (for lectures and seminars) haha, I guess to compensate our small hospital kot ;p

There are two more hospitals where our friends are posted which are way bigger and more patients and doctors. So it's not pelik la when some people come to me and said.. "Eh I've seen Sindhi hospital, so small! So kesian you guys, I guess you got few cases only no?" (haip English diaaaa dah tak ada rupa English dah haha Mira cakap my English has been so "Indianized" last time I asked her "kat mana tu?" I said "where house that?" T__T). 

Ok la, I have to admit at first I don't like the hospital. Kecik! Patients tak ramai! Doctors tak ramai! I've begged the dean to let me transfer to other hospital but she said stay, you have a lot to learn, you will learn no matter where are you posted. So I stay, walaupun hati tak redha. Tak cukup redha lagi ni. Ada salah sikit I complain haha. 

Tapi.. I started to like it here. Memang patients tak ramai, penyakit pun biasa-biasa je.. Sebab dah tahu patients tak ramai la jadi umm apa org cakap? Tak take things for granted? Contoh, semalam ada patient (budak) with cerebral palsy, she's eight year old but she hardly speaks more than two words in a sentence. Nanti google k apa itu CP. Anyway, confirm ini je kes cerebral palsy yang kitorang jumpa makaaa semua orang semangat ambil kes, examine patient betul-betul, ambil history patient betul-betul, insyaallah present kes kat doktor pun betul-betul ;)



Dah la I ni jenis yang tamak haloba haha pantang ada kes mesti nak pergi jumpa patients nak tengok what are the symptoms, sama ke dengan apa yang kita belajar dalam buku? Tapi kalau ramai patients maka perhatian kepada each patient akan kurang. So.. less things I can learn. Kan orang cakap orang tamak selalu rugi? Haa I la tu haha. I don't know about others la, but that's how I am (malu).

I guess He knows me very well so He puts me here, where I will try hard to learn thoroughly and appreciate every patient that I've met. Kan kan kan, semua benda yang Allah buat ada hikmahnya. 6 months ago punya la I fikir apa la hikmahnya Allah letak aku kat sini, sekarang insyaallah dah faham. I should be thanking Him kan? :)



Sebenarnya I nak cerita benda lain haha. I nak cerita.. I have decided what I want to do after I finish my internship ;) Sekian haha. Assalamualaikum!

Tetiba Toby haha bye

Kids

Hai assalamualaikum its Khamis and it's holiday in India yay. Padahal baru habis cuti seminggu baru start posting baru (Pediatrics) dah tak sabar tunggu weekend, haip. So what should i do today? I finished my laundry, I've done baking sponge cake for tiramisu... oh ya mandikan Toby. Ok itu malasnya ya Allah haha sebab Toby sangat berbuluuu setiap kali mandi mesti bulu melekat kat muka, tangan, baju, seluar.. Ok (redha).



Ok dah berjaya mandikan Toby, phew. Terima kasih Linda pinjamkan hair dryer. Toby over k, siap kena keringkan bulu. Tapi kalau tak keringkan satu hari baru kering. Terutama bahagian ekor. Sebab tu malas nak mandikan -.-'



Sebenarnya dalam hati tak nak bawak balik Toby bila dah habis lima tahun kat sini haha kalau boleh nak bagi orang je buat macam kucing sendiri sebab sangat leceh nak kena buat visa segala dah la Toby dah tua nanti kesian dia nak kena kuarantin kat airport lama-lama. Tapi Mira insists I bawak balik jugak sebab katanya "Toby tak boleh hidup tanpa I" haha.



Mungkin tak boleh dinafikan sebab Toby macam tak ada life. Kerja dia tunggu I balik sekolah, main-main dengan I bila malam tidur sesama. Bosannya jadi Toby haha. Baiklah, akan diusahakan untuk bawak balik Toby T_T Kalau mampu, nak kena "tanam" microchip dalam badan Toby sebagai ID, senang nak keluar masuk negara mana-mana sebab ada "kad pengenalan". Haih macam-macam kucing ni, over tau.



Lately I'm so malas to eat, unless people drag me to eat anywhere. If not, I just feel so lazy to go to the kitchen. It's a good thing, no? I'll be kurus in no time haha. But it's no so good when I wake up the next morning with tornado in my stomach. Some people said I'm kurus now hehe. I asked them "Is it as kurus as I was back in Mais time?" *silence* "Of course no". Oookaaayy haha I was so kurus back then! Now I look so thick pftt how to look good in wedding dress ni... (berangan) haha. Our seniors are so busy with gyms and everything because everyone wants to be kurus! I think they are getting married by next year or so, so that's why. Told you I'm in that phase where everyone talks about marriage all the time haha.



Oh ya, I'm in Pediatrics posting now and I got two new posting mates! After all these months I keep on seeing the same faces.. finally.... haha. It feels more fun with seven people in one class instead of only five people. So another four months before I finish my third year! Meh so fasttt. I feel like just yesterday I talked to my very first patient (I remember him! He got pneumonia or something) now my patients are all... kids. I don't know how to talk to small kids! Their mothers are scaryyy. I prefer bigger kids with grandmothers. Because mothers are very scary when their children are sick. Betulll.



I want to run on treadmill. But I have to switch off the fan, kesian Linda, it's so hot now.. Lets wait after Asar then.



Eh I talk so much today.



I haven't call home since Monday (I came back to India last Monday after a week holiday in Malaysia). Let's kumpul all the stories before I talk to mom again. Kesian her I talked so much when I was home I think she's getting bored haha. Kesian all the people around me too because I talk so much pretty much all the time hehe. But i think I'm pretty quiet at home because by the time I reach home I'll be too tired after so much talking for the whole day.. Hm maybe I should do less talking and more listening. I remeber that one hadith saying someting about "better be silent if you have nothing good to be talked about" ookkayyy I'll try :)



Sometimes I lost track of whatever azam I did earlier.

Made my day

❝When I pretend to be strong, no one sees my hidden tears except Allah. When I’m sad and need a shoulder to cry on, no one supports me but Allah. Pleasing a human is very difficult, pleasing Allah is the easiest. People sometimes punish me for mistakes I have not done, Allah ignores and excuses the ones that I did. This is Allah, The Greatest, The Most Almighty, The Most Beneficent, The Most Merciful, and all praise belongs to Him.❞— Dr Tariq Ramadan



Sabar sabar sabarrr. May Allah ease :')

Ahad

I wasn't so happy last week. And like other normal and ungrateful humans, I turn to Him. But I don't think anyone noticed that I was unhappy because in hospital, I'd be too busy to show my emotions. I like it when I'm in hospital, I don't want to go back to my house, back to my room where I'd be alone and sad haha. 

Most of the people in the hospital are sadder than me. There was one patient who already got aborted twice had to deliver her baby at 28th week. When people get recurrent abortions, the next pregnancy will be a precious one (according to the doctors) so whatever happens they will try to save the baby. Oh ya, I'm in OBG (in Malaysia it is OnG) posting now so most of my patients are pregnant ladies. Anyway, the normal period of pregnancy is between 37-42 weeks. By 28th, baby is barely viable (survive in the outside world) and hers was only 1kg! Haip Toby lagi berat berganda-ganda. So kesian because it's her first baby and the baby got transferred to a better hospital (for babies), she didn't even get the chance to feed it. See, I'm not as sad as compared to her. 

Another patient, an old lady who got pregnant for 12 times but only two of her children survive. She look so old but I don't think she's over 60 yet and she can't speak anything but Telegu. Telegu is very much a traditional language, usually only old and kampung people would use it. She got admitted because she has genital prolapse as in the whole uterus is coming out of her vagina. After three years she finally came to the hospital because now she's getting problem passing urine and all. She's been here for almost a week so every time I come to see her all I can say is "Amma! Good? (tunjuk ibu jari)" and pat her at the back. She's a lot sadder than me. How can I even say that I'm sad?

Let's just be happy and appreciate life. They say life is too short. It is! It's already March! That leaves me another 9 months then I'll be 22! I feel so old and wrinkly. And forgetful. I forget about a lot of things. I forgot how did I celebrate my birthday the last time? How can I forget? Meh.

Just be kind to everyone, but don't expect people to do the same in return. Humans are complicated like that. Just be kind for the sake of Allah because He loves all kind of kindness :)

Assalamualaikum.

Two am

I blame the society. They want us to do things according to what's right for them. For example, wedding. Why can't people just get married by akad nikah and do some walimah instead of all those duit hantaran, all those dulang berbalas dulang whatever. So troublesome and waste of money. Better save up for a proper house and proper meals or whatever, rather than a grand marriage just for the sake of "it look nice in the picture".


There.


It feels so good to put the blame on others.


Although deep down inside I know I'm the one to be blamed.

Senseless

Belum pernah aku berurusan dengan sesuatu yang lebih sulit daripada jiwaku sendiri, yang kadang-kadang membantu aku dan kadang-kadang menentangku  - Imam Al-Ghazali.



Hai jiwa, I'm too old for this. 

Dua minggu

Assalamualaikum.

Last weekend I went to a program but no, I won't update about it haha because it was a lazy weekend, I barely take any photos and well, I'm just lazy :p Anyway, while I was there (I don't even know the name of the place?!) I bought a book; "Jalan cinta para pejuang" by Salim A. Fillah. I just finished reading 1-2 chapters but I fall in love with the book already. Tho I barely understand Indonesian language but the way he describes about love, is really beautiful.

I'll try to finish it in two weeks time (ya, I got one more exam coming in two weeks) and if I'm rajin enough I'll share some things. 

Google image.

I had a rough week. Sigh. But some comforting words keep me going, Alhamdulillah. Here, hopefully everyone's reading this would be as strong as I am hihi ;)

Your life is nothing more than a love story. Between you and God. Nothing more. Every person, every experience, every gift, every loss, every pain is sent to your path for one reason and one reason only: to bring you back to Him - Yasmin Mogahed

Ok bye.

Jalan-jalan ke Goa

Assalamualaikum. I know it's been almost a month I've been to Goa haha but err I've been so busy with a lot of things ... (cari alasan).

So far I've been to Taj Mahal, Kerala, and places like Manipal and Mangalore for short trips. Usually I simply give my name and pay the whole thing without knowing where are we heading I just leave everything to whoever handling the whole trip yeah, I'm that pemalas but this time I decided to plan the whole trip (but of course I paksa Raihan to help). Ehem.

Instead of booking a whole package (hotels, transport and tour guide), we decided to make our own trip. There are 9 of us me Raihan Sabrina Mell Linda Shimah Syak Eyzzah and Hajar. We booked flight tickets and hotels for four nights but we don't know anyone in Goa and we don't even know where we were heading! Konon adventerous habis haha . Nasib baik Umi tak tahu hewhew she was reluctant at first to allow me to go (remember the gang rape case in Delhi?).



But I manage to paksa these people to go (Umi said at least there must be ten people in the group) and instead of TT we went there with flight. Everyone was like "Hey mahal la kenapa guna flight Goa dekat je kot" and a lot of other things but safety first la, money comes and goes, I have to make sure everyone is safe baru la boleh nak seronok-seronok. Oh god, I sound like Mom already. Anyway it's only Rs. 5500 per person, about RM300+ je.. 

Masalah tiket murah is, the flight would be very early in the morning (ours were at 5 am) and since it's India where anything can happen anywhere, we have to go to airport three hours earlier. So we hardly sleep while waiting for the night to pass. Alhamdulillah there was no delay whatsoever so one and half hour later we arrived at Goa.

Goa is divided into South and North Goa. We first headed to south and we made some arrangements with the hotel we booked earlier (Dudhsagar Resort & Spa) to come and fetch us at the airport. Transport in Goa is so expensive! For two vehicles we have to pay around Rs. 3-4k, kalau buat muka sedih "But we are students only" haa dapat murah sikit. The hotel was quite far la from the airport.. South Goa is more like kampung but I like it :D

Since it is very kampung there's nothing much we could do. For the whole day we were just eating (we brought rice cooker, grilled chicken, sardines etc etc), playing silly games and in the evening we did some rope things I don't know how to explain it but we have to walk from one tree to another on some ropes with that sliding thing (?) and it ends with flying fox. It took about almost an hour to finish the whole thing but it was fun! Except the part where everything seemed so high and I'm always afraid of height all I wanna do is finish it up but Eyzzah was so happy take my pictures and paksa me to smile -.-' 

The next day we went to Dudhsagar waterfall. They said it is the highest waterfall somewhere but we have to wait for monsoon season for it to become one. Ramai gilaaa women in bikinis haipp. I refused to join them to mandi yeah I know, everyone was telling me why I'm so boring let's have fun in the water whatever haha but I don't like basah-basah and how to change baju?! They were so excited sampai je terus masuk airrr (geleng kepala) those kids pfttt haha. 

Afterwards we went for elephant ride! But I pitied the elephant, it was hot and she was crying. The owner said it's normal because it's hot. But she looked so sad so I just sat there trying to pat her (but I was too scared). I don't understand why people want to ride on elephants or camels eh, but I must admit they look nice in the pictures -.-' At night we barbecued yayy. We didn't actually do anything we just sat there waiting to be served haha I know, so manja. And everyone was so exhausted to do anything afterwards we ended up sleeping early and waking up late the next day.

At 10 am the next morning we checked out and headed to North Goa. Again, I had to pay Rs. 3k for the transport?! Nasib baik la those drivers are so baik. The next hotel (Swimsea Resort) was smaller (and cheaper) compared to previous one, but it's very near to beach so after we finished unpacking and ate lunch we went straight to the beach. We spent the whole evening at the beach, though it's not a beach for tourist (no water sports etc) we had fun watching the sunset and some people went into the water (not me haha) and afterwards they continued in the swimming pool -.-'



The next day we went to the best beach in North Goa (according to pak cik receptionist), Calungute Beach which is 20 km away. We were so kedekut haha we decided to take the public transport to go there. Told you this is an adventerous trip lolll. It was quite easy because everyone was ready to help us. Just imagine we looked like small kids we walked in a group and we kept asking everyone "Where is the beach?" haha! Turned out we had to cross a river, we rode a large ferry and it's free for everyone (except for cars)! So convenient. The journey took almost an hour but it was worth it la :D



Haa, ini baru pantai sebenarrr. Everyone was so eager to try every water sports. Not me la haha I don't like getting all wet all I wanna do is sit under the umbrella and eat lobster. But everyone was like dude this is Goa so I went parasailing and ... that's all (I screamed the whole time I was "flying"). So while everyone was busy playing in the water, I sat under the umbrella and ate losbter. Nyum! It was Rs. 1300 but I shared it with Eyzzah and Hajar because I wanted to try prawn (Rs. 600) too. Then everyone came and joined us. The owner was so kind he gave me free drinks and fries haha seronok pergi mana-mana selalu jumpa orang baik :) The last bus was at 6 pm so we rushed back (did some shopping at Candolim Beach which is 10 minutes away) to the hotel.



Esoknya we came back to Bangalore, and I had food poisoning for three days -.-'

Arrived at South Goa

Buat group (konon)

Naik jeep masuk hutan

Orang-orang tak mandi haha

Picnic!

Laskhmi the elephant

At Miramar Beach

Swimsea Resort

While waiting for the bus (mak cik kat sebelah pandang pelik haha)

Macam budak sekolah tak?!

Calungute Beach

Nikmat dunia :')

I paid Rs. 5500 for the flight ticket and for hotels, transport and others (makan-makan, entrance etc) I paid only Rs. 7000 (RM 400+). And still got baki. Okay la, if you take package you only have to pay Rs. 7000+ including TT but you have to follow the schedule and those people sure will take you to some expensive shops which will pay them money every time they bring in customers -.-'



Seronoknya bila nak cuti lagiii haha. But remember to jaga adab even when you're away from everyone you know. We tend to lupa jaga diri bila dengan locals, "Alaa tempe je pun". Islam bukan sembahyang dan puasa je, it applies in all aspects of your life ; pakaian, cara bercakap, adab dengan orang bukan Islam etc. Contoh masa dekat Calungute Beach semua pakai bikini, bukan main lelaki-lelaki cuci mata amboiii tapi bila diorang terpandang kitorang they were like "What are those people wearingg" haha. Paling pentingg, jaga kehormatan diri :)



Okay bye assalamualaikum, back to realityy T_T



The quest for Love changes us, there is no seeker among those who search for Love who has not matured on the way. The moment you start looking for Love, you start to change within and without - Elif Shafak.

Malas

Oh god, my Goa story has been drafted for almost a week. Why am I so lazy? T_T


I'll continue writing tomorrow. Or day after tomorrow. Or day after that. Ehem. I'll share something here in order to compensate my laziness hehe.


Recently I read a book "Malam Pertama di Alam Syurga" (I know right, everyone loves the idea of heaven and everything nice in it). There is one beautiful hadith I want to share with everyone.


Pernah pada suatu hari para sahabat bertanya kepada Rasulullah : "Untuk siapakah Allah menyediakan kamar-kamar seperti itu ya Rasulullah?" (In heaven, Allah provides special rooms, houses and castles for those who are special in His eyes).


Rasulullah menjawab : "Bagi mereka yang menyebarkan salam, menyumbangkan makanan, yang berpuasa dan berjaga malam mengerjakan sembahyang sedangkan orang lain tidur nyenyak."


Lalu para sahabat bertanya lagi : "Siapakah yang tahan dan sanggup berbuat demikian ya Rasulullah?"


Jawab baginda lagi : "Umatku! Dengarlah, siapa yang bertemu sesama Muslim lalu dia memberi salam itu bermakna telaha menyebarkan salam. Barang siapa memberi makan anak-anak dan isterinya sampai kenyang bererti dia telah menyumbangkan makanan. Sesiapa yang berpuasa pada bulan Ramadhan dan ditambah dengan tiga hari pada setiap bulan itu bererti dia terus-menerus berpuasa. Dan siapa yang menunaikan sembahyang Isyak terakhir dengan jemaah bererti dia telah bersembahyang malam sedang manusia tidur." (Riwayat Abu Naim dari Jabir)


:')


Honestly, it's so easy to attain Jannah, subhanallah! The hardest part is to ... do good even when you're so lazy. Right? You know solat jemaah is a good thing, yet you rather spend your night in front of laptop or tv. Why? Because we are lazy like that. Kononnya I'm so tired after the whole day in the hospital. Tsk. That's so me (bisik).


So, try. Hard. Because we're not trying hard enough.


Assalamualaikum.

Habit

1) I love books, I do. I buy a lot of books but everyday I'm so busy I barely have time to read. Contoh, I bought "To Kill a Mockingbird" by Harper Lee one year ago I read half of the book and I was so busy.. with things.. I have to reread because I forgot what's it all about. Now after a year, I only read 3/4 of the book. It is interesting! But I don't have time. Eh but last week I bought a book at the airport ("Forty Rules of Love" by Elif Shafak) I manage to read the whole book after 5-6 days haha maybe because it's something I can relate to. Eh eh. I don't know. It's my problem I think I can multitask in the end I forgot what I should do first -.-'



2) Now I'm in serious need of losing weight HAHAA you probably hearing this too many times before but now I'm really serious but today we have few guests from Mangalore we decided to cook and I.. have to eat.. because we cook a lot and there are only 10-11 of us haha so for the sake of jangan jadi kawan syaiiiton I have to eat. I'm sorry I ruin my mission T_T



3) I just got back from Goa but I need proper time and proper pictures then I will update (alasan).



4) Cats are so adorable I don't know why some people are afraid of cats. Contoh, Toby. He's always there. He's so lazy all he wanna do is sleep and scratch my legs. He's ugly and stink. He pees everywhere. He's so lazy to eat I have to feed him. But at the thought of losing him.. I just can't imagine. Now, that is love :)



5) Mom said I should come back to Malaysia on April. But I want to go travelling and discover Indiaaa (amboi). But I want to see my parents I want to meet my sister I want to eat proper nasi kerabu daging bakarr haha and I want to feel like a child again. I thought I'm ready to be 21 but at every thought of "tanggungjawab" I cringe. I can't do "tanggungjawab" I'm so young. But.. I'm 21. I just need some time to think it over. After all I'm 21 now.



6) So the first rule of friendship is "berlapang dada". Haip susah. But once you understand what "berlapang dada" is, you'll love everyone :)



7) I replay "Arjuna Beta" by Fynn Jamal hundreds of time. It makes me miss my parents so much. It reminds me of the chapter "cinta tanpa syarat" in "Aku Terima Nikahnya". Allah sifatnya Al-Wahhab. Ada lima sifat dalam Al-Wahhab - memberi tanpa meminta apa-apa balasan, memberi secara berulang-ulang, memberi tanpa diminta, memberi sesuatu yang amat berharga dan memberi sesuatu yang baik untuk menghasilkan kebaikan. The best thing is, Allah gives traces of Al-Wahhab to every parents in the world :') Listen to the song, I think that's what every parents think but only some parents know how to put it into a song haha *replay*.



8) I tried to explain but everything come out so wrong. It's not what I meant to say. But.. I'm sorry. At one point I know the only thing I can do now is pray for you to understand.



Assalamualaikum :)