Babies

Thanks to Pediatrics posting now I'm so in love with babies haha

Another Saturday

Hai assalamualaikum!



Do I whine to much?
I dislike slow people. I dislike dirty dishes. I dislike blackouts. I dislike hot, sweaty afternoons. I dislike unproductive days. I dislike a lot of things, or it's just me being ungrateful?



Let's put aside all these negative thoughts and cheer up. Like going out for a good lunch later on, okay :)



Oh its the GE 13 tomorrow! I'm sorry I can't vote, I just turn 21 this January and I haven't daftar whatsoever anyway I have to go to Chennai to settle this voting thing so yeah, maybe I have to wait for the next election (which is 5 years from now?!). I want to choose to! I asked Abah whom he's voting for he said "Undi kan rahsia" what I'm you daughter I have the right to know haha.


Sometimes I wonder.. do people really want a change, or simply because they want free education or cheaper cars? Really... gambling for the nation's future for the sake of cheap cars.....



Pray for the best.

Listen

Bahasa ketiga

Assalamualaikum.


Tadi kelakar. Eh ingat nak tweet je tapi baru teringat kat Twitter ade 27 followers je haha nak share dengan ramai orang makanya gigih update memalam sambil dengar lagu hindustan :')



Tak lama dulu ada terbaca post siapa entah, pasal siapa entah haha kenapa ni benda paling susah dalam dunia adalah nak ingat nama orang tsk jangan ikut perangai ni, kena belajar hargai orang k lepas ni kena hafal nama semua orang T_T Nak dipendekkan cerita haha post tu pasal budak melayu tapi tahu mandarin. Hebat k, ingat senang nak belajar bahasa ketiga.



Haip I kat sini dah tiga tahun takkan tak nak belajar bahasa ketiga kot? Dah la arab setakat tahu beberapa perkataan malu sikit, nasib baik ada tafsir al-quran kalau tak haru baca je tak faham apa-apa T_T



Makanya since few days I start belajar Hindi haha kenapa Hindi kenapa bukan Kannada (dialek kat Bangalore)? Kannada susah k haha serius susah gila rasa tak worth nak belajar setakat nak guna lagi 2-3 tahun kat sini jadi better belajar Hindi at least Hindi ni kira worldwide sikit nak tengok cerita Hindustan tak ada subtitles pun boleh ok over haha.



Haa nak ceritanya, tadi kelakar, ada patient tak tahu English langsung cakap Kannada sepatah-sepatah tapi sebab kitorang dah lama jugak la mingle dengan patients macam ni kitorang macam dah boleh tangkap la apa yang dia cuba nak cakap. So masa patient cakap kitorang angguk angguk la ya faham, haha Dr Nadaf kelakar buat muka terkejut macam nak cakap "Eh macam mana korang fahaammm" haha lepas tu semua berlagak konon faham sebenarnya 1-2 perkataan je faham yang lain main agak je haha.



Ada patient sorang lagi, bila dia tanya tahu Hindi tak? Hindi mellum nehi? I dengan semangatnya "Tora tora mellum he" lolll baru belajar 1-2 sentences nak berlagak, sekali mak cik tu terus cakap Hindi alamak macam mana ni takkan nak mengaku sebenarnya tahu sikit je haha. Ok lain kali tak buat dah :')

So I decided

Assalamualaikum.

I've been in clinical posting for 6 months and two weeks now. I'm glad I finished my first two years! Bosan (sikit) k, everyday we have to go to class, sit and listen for 2-3 hours, 1 hour break, eat, pray, rehat-rehat then we go to lab for practical session. Practical as in see the slides, write down names of drugs, draw bacteria.. God, I'm so hebat I can go through all that in two years haha! Ok la, during the first year we got to mingle with cadavers, potong-potong, identify this and that ok laaa tak bosan, best actually. Tapi masa zaman berhingus asyik nak ponteng kelas dissection hehe. Masa second year at least we got to see few autopsies. It was interesting but it's far too scary, I prefer cadaver, really. Freshly-dead humans are.. not so.. inviting.. well. 

Anyway, I've been posted in PD Hinduja Sindhi Hospital, about 30-40 minutes from our place (depending on the traffic). It's a small private hospital. Small as in there's only one building, empat tingkat, 3 OTs, one small xray/ultrasound room, small consultation rooms.. Nasib baik we got our own classrooms with LCD screen (for lectures and seminars) haha, I guess to compensate our small hospital kot ;p

There are two more hospitals where our friends are posted which are way bigger and more patients and doctors. So it's not pelik la when some people come to me and said.. "Eh I've seen Sindhi hospital, so small! So kesian you guys, I guess you got few cases only no?" (haip English diaaaa dah tak ada rupa English dah haha Mira cakap my English has been so "Indianized" last time I asked her "kat mana tu?" I said "where house that?" T__T). 

Ok la, I have to admit at first I don't like the hospital. Kecik! Patients tak ramai! Doctors tak ramai! I've begged the dean to let me transfer to other hospital but she said stay, you have a lot to learn, you will learn no matter where are you posted. So I stay, walaupun hati tak redha. Tak cukup redha lagi ni. Ada salah sikit I complain haha. 

Tapi.. I started to like it here. Memang patients tak ramai, penyakit pun biasa-biasa je.. Sebab dah tahu patients tak ramai la jadi umm apa org cakap? Tak take things for granted? Contoh, semalam ada patient (budak) with cerebral palsy, she's eight year old but she hardly speaks more than two words in a sentence. Nanti google k apa itu CP. Anyway, confirm ini je kes cerebral palsy yang kitorang jumpa makaaa semua orang semangat ambil kes, examine patient betul-betul, ambil history patient betul-betul, insyaallah present kes kat doktor pun betul-betul ;)



Dah la I ni jenis yang tamak haloba haha pantang ada kes mesti nak pergi jumpa patients nak tengok what are the symptoms, sama ke dengan apa yang kita belajar dalam buku? Tapi kalau ramai patients maka perhatian kepada each patient akan kurang. So.. less things I can learn. Kan orang cakap orang tamak selalu rugi? Haa I la tu haha. I don't know about others la, but that's how I am (malu).

I guess He knows me very well so He puts me here, where I will try hard to learn thoroughly and appreciate every patient that I've met. Kan kan kan, semua benda yang Allah buat ada hikmahnya. 6 months ago punya la I fikir apa la hikmahnya Allah letak aku kat sini, sekarang insyaallah dah faham. I should be thanking Him kan? :)



Sebenarnya I nak cerita benda lain haha. I nak cerita.. I have decided what I want to do after I finish my internship ;) Sekian haha. Assalamualaikum!

Tetiba Toby haha bye

Kids

Hai assalamualaikum its Khamis and it's holiday in India yay. Padahal baru habis cuti seminggu baru start posting baru (Pediatrics) dah tak sabar tunggu weekend, haip. So what should i do today? I finished my laundry, I've done baking sponge cake for tiramisu... oh ya mandikan Toby. Ok itu malasnya ya Allah haha sebab Toby sangat berbuluuu setiap kali mandi mesti bulu melekat kat muka, tangan, baju, seluar.. Ok (redha).



Ok dah berjaya mandikan Toby, phew. Terima kasih Linda pinjamkan hair dryer. Toby over k, siap kena keringkan bulu. Tapi kalau tak keringkan satu hari baru kering. Terutama bahagian ekor. Sebab tu malas nak mandikan -.-'



Sebenarnya dalam hati tak nak bawak balik Toby bila dah habis lima tahun kat sini haha kalau boleh nak bagi orang je buat macam kucing sendiri sebab sangat leceh nak kena buat visa segala dah la Toby dah tua nanti kesian dia nak kena kuarantin kat airport lama-lama. Tapi Mira insists I bawak balik jugak sebab katanya "Toby tak boleh hidup tanpa I" haha.



Mungkin tak boleh dinafikan sebab Toby macam tak ada life. Kerja dia tunggu I balik sekolah, main-main dengan I bila malam tidur sesama. Bosannya jadi Toby haha. Baiklah, akan diusahakan untuk bawak balik Toby T_T Kalau mampu, nak kena "tanam" microchip dalam badan Toby sebagai ID, senang nak keluar masuk negara mana-mana sebab ada "kad pengenalan". Haih macam-macam kucing ni, over tau.



Lately I'm so malas to eat, unless people drag me to eat anywhere. If not, I just feel so lazy to go to the kitchen. It's a good thing, no? I'll be kurus in no time haha. But it's no so good when I wake up the next morning with tornado in my stomach. Some people said I'm kurus now hehe. I asked them "Is it as kurus as I was back in Mais time?" *silence* "Of course no". Oookaaayy haha I was so kurus back then! Now I look so thick pftt how to look good in wedding dress ni... (berangan) haha. Our seniors are so busy with gyms and everything because everyone wants to be kurus! I think they are getting married by next year or so, so that's why. Told you I'm in that phase where everyone talks about marriage all the time haha.



Oh ya, I'm in Pediatrics posting now and I got two new posting mates! After all these months I keep on seeing the same faces.. finally.... haha. It feels more fun with seven people in one class instead of only five people. So another four months before I finish my third year! Meh so fasttt. I feel like just yesterday I talked to my very first patient (I remember him! He got pneumonia or something) now my patients are all... kids. I don't know how to talk to small kids! Their mothers are scaryyy. I prefer bigger kids with grandmothers. Because mothers are very scary when their children are sick. Betulll.



I want to run on treadmill. But I have to switch off the fan, kesian Linda, it's so hot now.. Lets wait after Asar then.



Eh I talk so much today.



I haven't call home since Monday (I came back to India last Monday after a week holiday in Malaysia). Let's kumpul all the stories before I talk to mom again. Kesian her I talked so much when I was home I think she's getting bored haha. Kesian all the people around me too because I talk so much pretty much all the time hehe. But i think I'm pretty quiet at home because by the time I reach home I'll be too tired after so much talking for the whole day.. Hm maybe I should do less talking and more listening. I remeber that one hadith saying someting about "better be silent if you have nothing good to be talked about" ookkayyy I'll try :)



Sometimes I lost track of whatever azam I did earlier.

Made my day

❝When I pretend to be strong, no one sees my hidden tears except Allah. When I’m sad and need a shoulder to cry on, no one supports me but Allah. Pleasing a human is very difficult, pleasing Allah is the easiest. People sometimes punish me for mistakes I have not done, Allah ignores and excuses the ones that I did. This is Allah, The Greatest, The Most Almighty, The Most Beneficent, The Most Merciful, and all praise belongs to Him.❞— Dr Tariq Ramadan



Sabar sabar sabarrr. May Allah ease :')

Ahad

I wasn't so happy last week. And like other normal and ungrateful humans, I turn to Him. But I don't think anyone noticed that I was unhappy because in hospital, I'd be too busy to show my emotions. I like it when I'm in hospital, I don't want to go back to my house, back to my room where I'd be alone and sad haha. 

Most of the people in the hospital are sadder than me. There was one patient who already got aborted twice had to deliver her baby at 28th week. When people get recurrent abortions, the next pregnancy will be a precious one (according to the doctors) so whatever happens they will try to save the baby. Oh ya, I'm in OBG (in Malaysia it is OnG) posting now so most of my patients are pregnant ladies. Anyway, the normal period of pregnancy is between 37-42 weeks. By 28th, baby is barely viable (survive in the outside world) and hers was only 1kg! Haip Toby lagi berat berganda-ganda. So kesian because it's her first baby and the baby got transferred to a better hospital (for babies), she didn't even get the chance to feed it. See, I'm not as sad as compared to her. 

Another patient, an old lady who got pregnant for 12 times but only two of her children survive. She look so old but I don't think she's over 60 yet and she can't speak anything but Telegu. Telegu is very much a traditional language, usually only old and kampung people would use it. She got admitted because she has genital prolapse as in the whole uterus is coming out of her vagina. After three years she finally came to the hospital because now she's getting problem passing urine and all. She's been here for almost a week so every time I come to see her all I can say is "Amma! Good? (tunjuk ibu jari)" and pat her at the back. She's a lot sadder than me. How can I even say that I'm sad?

Let's just be happy and appreciate life. They say life is too short. It is! It's already March! That leaves me another 9 months then I'll be 22! I feel so old and wrinkly. And forgetful. I forget about a lot of things. I forgot how did I celebrate my birthday the last time? How can I forget? Meh.

Just be kind to everyone, but don't expect people to do the same in return. Humans are complicated like that. Just be kind for the sake of Allah because He loves all kind of kindness :)

Assalamualaikum.

Two am

I blame the society. They want us to do things according to what's right for them. For example, wedding. Why can't people just get married by akad nikah and do some walimah instead of all those duit hantaran, all those dulang berbalas dulang whatever. So troublesome and waste of money. Better save up for a proper house and proper meals or whatever, rather than a grand marriage just for the sake of "it look nice in the picture".


There.


It feels so good to put the blame on others.


Although deep down inside I know I'm the one to be blamed.

Senseless

Belum pernah aku berurusan dengan sesuatu yang lebih sulit daripada jiwaku sendiri, yang kadang-kadang membantu aku dan kadang-kadang menentangku  - Imam Al-Ghazali.



Hai jiwa, I'm too old for this.