A long day

The study weeks have begun! Its not actually official yet but I got extra few days because E delivered earlier than she planned so we have to postpone our exams and wait for her lol. She is so funny she's dilated like 5 cm and she still thinks about whether or not she should go and take exam? Seriously haha

Im so used to being occupied all the time I go out early to class everyday and come back home by 5-6. By the time I have finished my dinner its already 8-9 and then I have to read  and get ready for tomorrow's classes. Suddenly Im back at Ramaiah (Hospital) again. Kalau puasa tak payah cakapmla its like Im catching my breath all the time trying to keep up with time lol

Suddenly Im so free now.. Im not really sure what to do. Ok la I have to revise and vet ready for the big exam kan but my mind is floating elsewhere and by the time I feel like reading there's something nice on TV haha. I really should start focusing by now!!  *pulls hair*

Last night I was busy coaching my husband sjnce he has exam today. I made him listen to my "lecture" and mind you, I always make people repeat after me whenever I teach them something haha. Layan je la suamiku. But today he come back smiling ear to ear so I assume all is well la kot. We should do that again sometime before final exam I guess. But now he's locked up in his room enjoying kononnya detik-detik lepas exam sorry la you esok you dah kena start coaching balik ingat boleh senang-lenang ke dalam rumah ni haha eh. I asked him should we start worrying about flight tickets (to Malaysia next month insyaallah) now he said "Kalau I tak lepas macam mana?" I said make sure you do because I have to go back home by next month! :p

Im going out with Ama tonight. Gigih ya mengopi malam-malam macam ni haha its always so nice to hang out with a girl friend now and then after one whole day hanging out with a guy. Its really different haha you don't get to be all emotional and bitchy (haha!) with your husband you need a girl friend for that lol

Emosi ke?

First, its the last day of school after five years here. Memula macam lama gila lima tahun eh tapi sebenarnya tak rasa sangat sebab selama ni sekolah pun bertahun-tahun but anyway suddenly its 30 days away from the end of the game..


I try not to be emotional, you know. Im always the emotional type but somehow after I got married I kinda influenced by how cool my Husband is. Cool as in he does what he likes he does not care about silly thibngs the way I always do etc etc.


Dont let me start haha I dont want to be emotiinal just yet because I have sooo manh thibgs to do now. Exam next week, study weeks and all the thibgs I need to settle before going back for good and the final exam. I hardly have good sleep now because I dont want to sleep haha I dont want to be comfortable I just want to be thoroughly prepared. Because I want more than just "pass" (please hate me Im always the annoying overachiever).


And E is going for labour! She's one of the people I like here. The one who can listen to you all day and gives few weird remarks haha. I was there with her when she first knew she's pregnant. I went with her for her very first USG ok la I might not be that helpful when she vomited the whole time tapi nak emosi jugak haha tak kira.


Life is good, life is pretty good. Lets make more memories while we are still here :)

Sepuluh

I had the best ten days in my life haha I said to myself this is better that my wedding lol. Wedid not plan to go back to Malaysia to celebrate Eid but out of the blue my sister decided she wanted to get married so of course I have to attend the wedding kan dah la langkah bendul bahaha. We went back to Johor first (being a good wife ikut suami balik kampung hihi) I thought it would be scary tapi it was fun, really. The food is really gooood haha and Ibu literally forced me to eat everything "Kenapa tak makan ni Ibu masak, tak sedap ye..." so you see, I have to please her :p


It was my second time in Johor but it feels different this time around maybe because we have been married for almost a year so the priority has changed a bit so you know, macam mana nak cakap haha, its not about impressing anyone anymore but I just wanted to treat everyone like my own family. Since the pressure is not there its more fun la lol I read somewhere someone was asking macam mana nak rasa seronok beraya dengan in laws -- "Treat the in laws like your own parents" and thats that :)


Then I went back to Terengganu there was no more Raya of course haha we only celebrate Raya on the first day itself. And we are the cool type padahal ada wedding Sabtu tapi rumah rilek rilek je keluar jalan sana sini lol. It was a long time back everyone is at home and (padahal lima orang je) everyone is so busy growing up.. If I have known when we started leaving home one by one pergi asrama, if I would have known things are never be the same again.. haha emosi. The last time I got married I did not have time to be emotional I was too happy marrying the guy of my dream haha


A blends well with everyone and surprisingly he became best friends with Abah! You should have seen the way Abah treated him when he first came to visit. Abah is always so protective which is sweet, and annoying too at the same time. But to see both of them suddenly became so close and I know they talked about me (hmph) now thats a gooood feeling. And everyone stopped trying to speak bahasa haha everyine ended up speaking Terengganu and occasionally I would ask A "You faham tak nak kena translate tak?" :p


One more month before the big final! I cant wait to leave India. But I dont want to be an adult too T_T

So um, I'm back?

Hi! I mean, Assalamualaikum! Wow it feels weird to be back but I have the urge to continue writing because, you know, I just feel like it (and I'm too forgetful I need a place to keep track of the little things happening in my life). I'm 23 now by the way haha. I'm um, married and I have about two months left to graduate. Yay!


It's Ramadhan again and the days pass by reaaaally fast and again, I barely able to catch my breath. But I feel okay tho and I'm loving life nowadays. I just got back from Terawih and ummmm this is weird I'm so used to write to myself (I keep a private blog for over a year to keep me sane).


I'm in Emergency Medicine posting now -- my last posting before the final exam. I like the rush in A&E department I like how cool everyone is handling patients, they know what to do and what not to do and they don't seem to be bothered with emotion. Last two day I almost cried when a son brought his dead mother to the ER. He knew she was dead even before they came here and but he was hopeful and it was heart breaking when he started sobbing and called out for her.


That's one the reasons la why I wanted to write again so I can look back and reminisce the old days hewhew. And I'm getting annoyed with Instagram too -- everyone is kind like trying too hard to fit in they post selfies and write a totally unrelated captions (I do it sometimes haha) but come on, haha.


For the last two weeks my everyday routine would be -- wake up for sahur, eat, try to read something but fail and end up sleeping until 7.30, go to school, hours passed before I would realize the day is coming to the end, go back home and cook (okay I lied most of the time my husband would cook haha), Terawih prayer, try to read something but end up sleeping until it's time to wake up for sahur again and -- hey it's Monday again!


Before this all I have to do is you know, attend classes, examine patients, present the cases to the consultants.. and that's that. But in Ramaiah Hospital they treat you like one of those interns where you have to attend patients, fill up all the forms, follow up and out of nowhere a consultant would simple ask you about the progress of the patients, what are the interventions have been done to them etc etc. And the same time I have to attend classes and they expect you to know all the answers T_T


It's fun I like how we are treated as one of them but it takes up all the energy I have for one day by the time I get home all I want to is sleep haha. So um, I skipped one or two Terawih prayer...... haha but in my defense I did it at home so it's still considered oookaaay :p


Whenever I feel too tired to wake up in the morning I remind myself that I'm still young and why do I have to complain so much that's what I have to do as long as I'm alive and young and you know, kenapa aku attached gila dengan "agi idup agi ngelaban" (isit?) haha.

Ok bai.

Dilemma

I want an easy life. Easy life as per imagination - I would be busy reading books, eat whatever I want, laugh or cry whenever I want to, able to say no to anyone if I don't want (to do) anything, make faces when I don't like anyone, tell straight to their faces if I hate them, ignore rubbish talks, further ignoring brags, hm what else?

In my imagination, I am a selfish human being. And I always hate a selfish friend. So I definitely don't want to be one. 

Maka, I have to do what I have to do. Manage my anger, suck up my annoyance, be nice to everyone even if I don't feel like it, don't make faces, be patient, be patient and be patient. For those who know me well they know how impatient I am (especially if I'm waiting). Phew, so much I have to give up in order to become a pleasant friend.

And I will... try my best. I'm a year older I have to be a year wiser.

I'm sorry if sometimes my imagination rules me.

Assalamualaikum.

Aidiladha

Assalamualaikum.



This is my fourth Aidiladha in Bangalore. This year Aidiladha was a bit hambar. agaknya sebab seniors dah nak balik (some already left) and there's no single activity done! Cuma sembahyang raya takbir sesikit ada jamuan makan nasi beriyani... and that's all. It's boring I tell you. Let's just hope next (and last, Insyaallah) Aidiladha would be better, as meriah as we once celebrated when I was in first or second year.



Nasib baik some people are so thoughtful they cook a lot and my tummy sure is happy. This year I didn't cook anything haha maybe next year Insyaallah. The best dish I had this Aidiladha is Hana's lodeh. I siap mintak tapau haha. But it would be better with tempe tsk faham la keadaan orang merantau. Ini dah cukup baik hihi. Mira made kuah kacang, which is spicy (for me) so I kinda miss the usual, sweet kuah kacang in Terengganu but changes are good haha.



Sembahyang raya is syahdu as always.. In those less than hour time it makes me think about a lot of things. They talk a lot about "korban". How much have I sacrificed throughout the year for Him? And yet, He still gives me most of the things that I've wanted.



It's been a year. See how much I have grown haha. I don't even cry when I hugged Kak Farah goodbye ;)

The first and last

Assalamualaikum.



I'm back in India. Datang dengan semangat dan cita-cita menggunung tehee ok sebenarnya nak belajar OBG tak nak dapat B- dah haha kena balik Malaysia dengan A kali ni. Setakat ni tak homesick lagi kot haha selalunya I start homesick bila I stress. Sebab Isnin ni baru start kelas so minggu depan la kot baru start homesick haha.



Hm tahun empat. Lagi dua tahun. Tapi rasa kosong serius kalau ada orang pengsan depan mata sekarang still tak tahu nak buat apa-apa (ok hari tu jumpa mak cik pengsan kat mall tapi tak tau nak buat apa terus jalan pelan-pelan buat-buat tak nampak tehee). Oh sekarang seniors tengah rancak jual barang-barang kat IMS yardsale sekejap je semua barang dah habis. I tak rasa nak beli apa-apa pun haha (ok kecuali vacuum dengan buku-buku best tak tahu la bila nak baca kan) tapi seronok tengok barang-barang mana la tahu ada yang murah/free boleh terus cop.



Apa ni random sangat haha.



Toby is fat and happy. Um. Ok ni serius tak ada apa nak cakap haha bye.

Keputusan

Assalamualaikum!

Since the first day of holiday I didn't think much of the last exam we had. I think I did mention about the papers which were susah wuwuu but I kinda forgot about it until todayyy out of nowhere Raihan posted on Facebook the results were released and yes, everyone has passed.

As I had mentioned before the whole batch is divided into three hospitals and Im posted in Sindhi Hospital. So the results are given according to the hospitals but we sat for the same papers.. I got 6 subjects - Medicine Surgery OBG (its called OnG in Malaysia I dont why its OBG in India) Pediatrics Psychiatry and Primary Care.

Did I mention OBG papers were the hardest? I cried a little (dalam hati) after the bell rang I knew I would fail. I dont know about others tho, but I know nothing about eclampsia (essay question was avout what is eclampsia and how to manage) btw eclampsia is like in simple words, seizure during pregnancy thats all I know to be honest haha its due to high blood pressure and something about constricted blood vessels and limited oxygen supply.. ok go google the rest of the story.

Anywayy I got a B- for OBG ok la haha Alhamdulillah I didnt fail but I kinda feel like I let Dr Prajna down. Not like she expects me to get an A or something.. tapi I dont know, I like her and I really like OBG I just feel like I should do better than a B-. Haha ok ok I should do better next time Ama said this is just numbers and figures (or something) it doesnt really matter what matters is how much do you know because sometimes we made mistakes during exam. Ok lah. Must do better next time (more like must read eclampsia next time lol).

Remember how much I complained about how I dislike Surgery because I have to remember a lot of structures and whatnot? I actually got an A for Surgery. Haha now I kinda like Surgery :p

Others are okay.. I didnt expect much so Im not that dissappointed or not too happy but Im excited to go back to India and start reading right away haha nerd ok.

Reminds me of an ayah ... jap nak check...

 Ok dah jumpa.

"Agar kamu tidak bersedih hati terhadap apa yang luput dari kamu, dan tidak pula terlalu gembira terhadap apa yang diberikanNya kepadamu. Dan Allah tidak menyukai setiap org yg sombong dan membanggakan diri..." (Al-Hadid ; 23)



Alhamdulillah but I know I must try harder next time because for me a good Muslim must not be satisfied with only "good" results but try to be the best in whatever we do (learned this from a friend).. Haha I know Im that nerd, and congratulations everyone Im proud of you guys :)

Baik baik

Assalamualaikum.

When I was in ... first year I guess eh terus direct to the point kan jarang tulis tak ada intro macam ni anyway I like cats I mean I live with cats for my entire life tiba-tiba datang India I barely saw a cat so I was all excited to babysit for cats while the seniors were away on their holidays.

I babysat for Auni and her kids I forgot the names but they are big cats now and one of them died few months back. I had to go to Kakak's house everyday to feed the cats and pack up their poops. I went to see the cats for like 1-2 times in one day because I missed them haha so I had to see them. Its not like I did it because I had to but I kinda liked the job.

I mean cats kan they are so messy their hairs are everywhere but they are so adorable you have to forgive them and love them anyway.

So when I first got Toby I was (still am) so happy its like having my first son but suddenly college gives us long holidays so I have to leave him for two months. If Im rich I wont mind sending him to board anywhere but I dont have the money to pay Rs 150 per day for two months so I have to find someone to take care of him.

Last year a Kakak agreed to take care of him. I was so relieved but biasa la I dont easily trust people haha so I had my doubts la. So after one month my neighbour took over the job due to few problems, and well it was a disaster haha but I wont complain because at least he fed Toby well.

So this year again I have the same problem I begged a kakak to help me out because suddenly its holiday for everyone except for the very batch who going to take their final exam in no time. But I had no choice! So the very very kind kakak agreed and I came home with a happy heart. But she decided she cant help me anymore okay I understand there is a huge exam coming. I feel bad too because I kinda forced her to jaga Toby kan... I still love her anyway because she helped me while Im in need walhal dia banyak lagiiii benda nak buat so okay la but now what am I supposed to do Im so far from India what can I do..

Idk how suddenly a junior willingly nak jaga Toby so can you imagine how Im feeling haha Im so relieved I nearly cried but I wont because Im at home I dont cry at home haha I dont even tell Mom I miss Toby so badly lol. Anyway so three more weeks I just hope everything will turn out okay after this we dont have anymore holidays paling lama dua minggu I kinda glad haha.

I thanked Nurlin so many times I just hope she wont get tired of me haha. She should see what I tweeted about her. Of how much I love her haha. Ok. Behave..

Anyway what Im trying to say is.. just do good because somehow He will repay your good deeds. Kalau bukan sekarang maybe one day in future. Percaya la Allah la sebaik-baik tuhan dalam dunia ni (not that there is any other god).. just be good do good and make people around you feel loved, He will love you in return. Do good but dont expect other people to repay your kindness because biasa la manusia kadang-kadang kita lupa siapa yang buat baik, so just do good for the sake of Him.

:)

Cutiiiii

Assalamualaikum yes Im still in Malaysia Ill be here for one more month seronoknya cuti tak payah fikir apa-apa bangun tidur kemas rumah makan baring-baring tetiba dah malam haha apa ni tak produktif langsung. Bukak laptop pun malas sanggup update blog guna phone je.


Hmm I decided Im not doing attachment this year because Im too lazy! Ya Allah apa ni why Im so lazy ok malas tu satu, and tak nak susahkan parents I hantar ambil I tsk yes I cant drive yet Umi said she'll allow me to drive after two years. Ill be 23 by then. Tuanya baru nak ambil lesen. K.



What else. Haha Im telling you my holiday is lazy and boring I dobt have anything to share. Or Im too lazy to think. Sebenarnya cuti lelama tak best jugak sebab I tend to be tak produktif. Which is not good. I hate wasting time like this tapi harus la guna masa sebaiknya sebelum masuk tahun empat. Tahun empattt. Tapi still rasa tak tahu apa-apa.


Serius.


I miss Ramadhan. You cant be lazy in Ramadhan. Seriously, all you wanna do in Ramadhan is do good read al-Quran non stop and read good books. Kenapa tak boleh jadi serajin tu dalam Syawal. Ya Allah puasa bulan Syawal paling susah. Sebab raya baru habis nafsu makan membuak-buak haha amboi so um. Umi ckp sebab tu puasa Syawal banyak pahala. Ok Umi. I cuba.


I dont have any plan for this holiday. Except for Eyzzah's weddibg of course. Abaikan banyak typo. Mesti banyak kan? Malas nak check.