31

Its the last day of 2015 and I have not made up any new resolution yet. I was busy with stuff -- I barely think about what I have done so far (like I always do when the year is ending).


2015 has been a weird year haha seriously! Because I have gone through so many changes without me realizing it. I probably had realized it but again I had not think about it much. The marriage has changed me to some extent and lets just pray all the changes are good changes haha.


I think I am more laid back now. I try to enjoy the moments and most of the time I enjoy doing silly things with A. School was fun despite going back and forth between three different hospitals.... I still don't have much fond memories in Baptist Hospital. And not much memories of Ramaiah Hospital except for the chai and banana cake bahaha.



The best thing so far -- we are pregnant! Haha. Good things always come when you are least expecting. I stopped thinking about making babies because I wanted to focus on other things. I mean I did few things according to Google haha but I was like whatever I don't want to think about it suddenly I was very sick and before taking any bad medication (in case there is a baby) (I am taking the precaution since I started planning for babies) I did a urine test.


Which I did very you know, with nothing on my mind. Then I took a peep and there was a blur second line and I was like there must be a mistake but A was excited (he said he always knew I was sick because I am pregnant) so I repeated the test and the second line became clearer. And definitely scarier...... haha.


I was not yet convinced so we went for a scan and there he/she is..... a tiny tinyy sac inside my uterus (so its not an ectopic yay) but it was very tiny and we both were so surprised haha and the doctor asked awkwardly whether we are married or not :p


There you go. He/she has kind of keeping me busy haha and miraculously I forgot about few things that I wish to forget so it's good haha.


I just want to enjoy the moments of life (and note down everything in case I'd forget!). And 2016 would be much much scarier now that I am going to be a mother and a working mother hopefully.. so does it mean now I am officially an adult? Noo T_T


Haha so goodbye 2015, you've been good :)

Driving lesson #1

I was confident I'm gonna make it but the waiting game wore me my confidence off and it's not even my fault! They left out my name and to make story short -- I was the candidate number 130. They asked me to come at 8 am but I started the test at 2.30 pm. No wonder I failed (haha). 

But my driving teacher is the sweetest he waited until my turn and listen intently to whatever I said to the tester (the JPJ guy). And the JPJ guy kept on teasing him "Ni anak murid siapa ni pandainyaaa" lol.

They must so bored because most of them would ask me "Ni cik ke puan" haha sorry guys I'm married and I know you guys are married too I wonder if I'm one of those single girls probably I won't fail :p 

Eh! No, I failed with the JPJ girls. Girls are so strict! In whatever field! All they want to do is fail us! I said to Mom once I start working I would give 10 days leave to every patients "Go enjoy your sick days off! Because I'm an awesome doctor" Ok, not. I'm pretty sure I would be one of the "rigid girls" group too haha

The bad news is -- next time they would start using the "new system" and whatnot. So I have to attend classes again T_T We planned to go back to JB but ...... what to do.... Now I have to make sure I would pass this time. My cikgu's face was so scary when he saw I failed. 

He was like "Bakpe awok parking gitu! Kang saye ajo doh" (dok panda-panda budok ni) *dalam hati dia* and his friends were like "Ape la doktor dok panda parking gane nok wi ubat ke pesakit kekgi?" *gelak ramai-ramai*. Nak tanye sikit cikgu.. apa kaitan ubat dengan parking O_O

I still hate waiting more than ever. And I'm so bitter when I'm hungry. Thank God for A!!! He waited with me and layan my bitterness and he tapau-ed me food. I said to him I wanted to eat right in front of the PSM/JPJ guys because they made me wait for so long. Padan muka kandas. Boo.

9

I'm back in Terengganu. It was a hectic weeek. But I'm so glad I have A. He makes things bearable. Even the ugliest thing. The last time we were on the bus from Terengganu to JB. Being us we love to "try out new buses" haha.

So we took this particular bus but one of the seat was broken so I can't lean on my back. I had to sit up straight (for the whole of 9-10 hours O_O). But A insisted to change the seat with me and he slept you know, by sitting up straight like he had a fused spine or something for 5 hours straight before we changed to the back seat. 

His only reason was he did not want me to be uncomfortable. Like whaaaat. I mean I'd be fine but he insisted! Oh my god now I feel like I'm the bad wife haha

Later!

25

We humans are annoying. We know it's not right to ask but we end up asking the very question for the sake of a conversation.

"Bila nak kahwin"

"La dah kahwin. Dah ada anak?"

"Bila lagi?"

"Nampak dah berisi, ada isi ke?"

Sometimes I ask the same questions too. Told you we are annoying.

And we forgot the truth behind all those answers; the effort, the fear, the disappointment, the giving-ups.. 

But me being me, I laugh at everything. Or shrug it off like I don't really care. 

24

Now I developed a new obsession -- making sure Toby eats something haha because he refused to eat anything. Even a freshly-boiled chicken! Just now I "accidentally" shoved his biscuits into his mouth and well, he continued eating like nothing happened. Okaaay. He's confusing and he's only a cat wait until I have a baby who would keep on crying and I don't know what I should do to make it stop.......


My parents keep on saying that Toby is a sad cat and it's all my fault. They said I trained him to be a baby instead of a cat now he's confused so now he's sad. Really.....


So, it's been almost a month we've been in Terengganu I really think we should go back to Johor by this time..... Of course I like my house better haha but I miss Ibu too (seriously!) and A keeps on saying how he misses Johor. Okay I get it... wait until we both get our licenses ok! We plan to drive back to Johor but I don't know -- should we? Sounds like fun but it would cost a lot more than two bus tickets. We're officially broke haha I don't know how are we going to survive months until we got hired T_T



In the meantime, We spend the free time helping out my parents. Mowing the lawn and whatnot bahaha. And I'm currently reading The Particular Sadness of Lemon Cake which is by the way as sad as the title is. But I like sad, depressing novels.


I went to H's house the other day and his Mom let me have few books since nobody would read those books anymore. She said she did a part time job as a librarian because "she loves books".


I need to jot everything down for future reference. I'm only 23 but I forgot 60% of what happened in my life. Such a pity.

18

I went to Shah Alam yesterday to attend Mira's brother's wedding. Her brother's, not hers haha I did not intend to go in the first place because I hardly know her brother and I know she would be busy and it's a long ride (and a lot of money spent!) to Shah Alam but she insisted and it's kind of fun meeting them after almost a month we last see each other.. so yeah..


As expected Mira was busy with the guests and Linda was busy with her boyfriend (haha!) and yeah, my sister was there too. I insisted her to come and stuff her with good food to stop her from whining from "not getting enough good food because she's broke" haha not at all it's just her and the whining. And Ama was there and since she planned to board the plane to Kelantan we spent the rest of the day together before going to the airport together.


I'm always amazed on how Ama can stay in touch with the "people in the past" (I don't stay in touch and people come and go in your life except for few in my life) and she really makes the effort to stay in touch satu, and stay close like they were before. Wow. I can do that with only few people. Thank God I don't get awkward with Sha for example. But others -- haha. I know right, it's not you, it's me! I'm the socially awkward one.


It's nice to actually sit alone sometimes (I mean after you got married) and you know, just me and good, strong coffee and a book -- before I got married I did hat almost everyday. After classes finished I would spend the free time in any random shops for a good cup of coffee, alone. It was fun!


But I got so caught up in the marriage haha and I barely spend time alone anymore. Now after one year we figured out we do need "our own space" sometimes.


And my husband is the sweetest! Toby got injured and he stopped eating! I think it's because of the injury (at the nose to be exact) he can barely smell anything so he just stopped eating. But he got better but he eats so little I'm so worried I wanted to cry but we boil some chicken for him (he eats chicken!).


I always suap Toby because I want him to be dependent on me haha but I was busy just now so I said to A can you suap him like I always do and he actually did it! Despite the fact that he does not encourage me to manjakan Toby and whatnot but -- ow man I wanted to cry haha. We really need to get pregnant now I know he's ready! :p

"Baru habis belajar"

Hi. I'm actually home, for good. Can you believe it haha. It's been so long and now I'm home again. I haven't miss Bangalore, yet. I've been busy adapting with the new life (as an adult?). Everything is so carefree in India, even after I got married. It kinda different here tho. The good different or bad different -- I need time to tell haha.


Despite my resolution to lose weight I'm still fat.


Toby is home too! I was expecting he would be the loser one, you know. Because I got fifteen other cats at home. I imagined he would be chased by the other cats and his life would be miserable (less miserable than being left at India with some strangers).


Well, it turns out differently. He chases all other cats... he even defeated the "alpha male" among the cats here..... what the.... now he got some injuries at the face because he's busy chasing everyone..... and he eats fish and chicken! That's not the cat that I know for four years!


Thank God at least he still remember me. If not.. I jual you Toby hmph. I wanted to blog about the process of taking him back here (niat selalu ada) but later okay, haha.


They said we would be called for interviews at least after six months. At first I don't mind. I don't want to start early and suffer like my seniors haha but now.. I kinda need money.....


I said to my husband I dream of going into a mall and buy everything without having to stop and think "Eh dah lebih bajet ke" T_T If I were still single I would take the job at a pet shop nearby! Kerja mandikan kucing! I don't mind that haha. But it's different after you got married -- priorities change :p


Eh, later (suami dah balik).

Closure

"Hey, I see you were not listed for Distinction. It's okay you'll get one next time. But you were really good the other day."


:)

Goodbye Goodbye

I'll be leaving India in two weeks time. Everyone keeps saying they never planned to come to India but ended up here but they are thankful anyway etc etc but me, I wanted to come to India. I remember giving an official letter to the administration saying that I want to come to India tho I can go to somewhere fancier.  Haha I was that determined.

I don't have much to complain about India. Of course I despise the traffic, the annoying auto drivers, the fact that my house is just next to a railway station, the fact that the language is too complicated and why nobody understands when I speak a proper English, and how they complain about "your English is not too good" BUT YOU MADE ME SPEAK LIKE THAT haha and why would you let cows, chickens, cats and dogs roaming the streets just like that? 

Other than that, I kind of like India.

Anyway.. the results were announced and I did pass my MBBS. I mean, Alhamdulillah I've made it but being me, I want something more than just a "pass". I know I did good and it was a little frustrating but I keep in my mind that after five years I would be fine with the fact that I failed my own aim/target/goal or whatever so haha I feel better now. And I fought with a good fight so it's worth it, even it's just a "pass" haha. 

I was going through the old notebooks and I know I have done a good job and I am doing this because I like it, not just for the sake of a scroll. So I'm good here haha.

But no I won't be posting any "Hey guys I've made it!" status I don't deserve it (yet).

Anyway!

Dr Dominic is like the kindest examiner I'm so glad I had a Medicine case for long case and I was kinda hoping for a CNS case but He knew better so He gave me something a way easier haha. But I did a really bad job in Pediatrics short case. It's even more frustrating because I like Pediatrics the most. It's like I was betraying an old friend or something lol. Other than that I was fine. And theory papers -- they were the easiest haha! Seriously I was expecting something more complicated and cruel and you know, but okay fine, bronchopneumonia is fine.... haha!

Come to think of it.. why did I choose MBBS in the first place? Why did I not think of being something not involving life and death like you know, a teacher, or accountant or, I don't know. I was only 16 then but I was so convinced I wanted to be a doctor I wanted to be able to comfort people in need etc etc haha so here I am.. let's just hope I would have at least 6 months before I have to start working.....

My husband is the kindest he's busy cooking in the kitchen while I'm here writing in front of the laptop having fun hahaha I love baby, I'll cook tomorrow :p

Life is good, life is pretty good. I'm going to miss my five years in India. I envy Kak Fien, being able to come back to India and meet the teachers and showing them how successful she bcomes.. :)

I want to write a lot more I've been drafting everything in my head but it's too emotional I need some time to sort all the memories haha. Two week left.

Last Day Tomorrow

Have I told you that my husband is every opposite of me? I am anxious most of the time buy he is calm um not calm but chill? I think. For the past one month (3 weeks of study leave and 1 week of theory exam) he is so .. chill? Haha.


I want to know everything I read all the books and I remember most of the sentences what are the pages what are the pictures.. I ticked all the chapters I am supposed to read and sonetimes I write notes. But him! He started "feeling nervous" by the end of second week of study leave. And he started to "really read" when it is 4-5 days left before exam started. Like omg if I were him I would freak out haha.


The thing is he said the theory exam was easy and (quoted( "I think I would pass. Nah, I just want to pass" haha I hate him for being so chill. I am nervous all the time and I keep on checking "how much I need to score to gey an A!" -_-


Today is the last day for him and tomorrow would be my turn.. hopefully.. everything woukd be all right, Insyaallah *sambung nervous*